Chris begins high school and is placed in an all-white homeroom. Meanwhile, Tonya begins working at the beauty salon with Rochelle, but her blunt honesty doesn't please the customers.
- Mr. Thurman (to Chris): Who the hell are you?
- Narrator: I'm Chris. Star of the new movie "Guess Who's Coming to Homeroom."
- Chris (to Greg): All the white people think I look like every black person on Earth. I could go to jail for anything from a parking ticket to throwing little baby Jessica down the well.
- Greg: Dude, that didn't even happen yet.
- Chris: I'm just saying.
- Greg (to Chris): Man, you wouldn't believe it. I found the one place on Earth where I'm not a nerd.
- Chris: Where, in that coat?
- Greg: The Bronx Academy. I'm the only one coming from a public school. I'm like the toughest kid there. Everyone's scared of me.
- Chris: Scared of you or scared of that coat?
- Narrator: This was the first time Greg scared anyone outside of a spelling bee.
- Narrator: Greg was like an ATM machine with acne.
- Julius (while standing on a car; about Tonya): My baby wants a job!
- Man: Get off of my car, fool!
- Ms. Morello (to Chris): what's the problem?
- Chris: Mr. Thurman hates me.
- Narrator: Everyone does. It's in the title of the show, dummy.
- Mr. Thurman (to Chris): I guess you're just going to black your way through life. Is that right? It didn't work for Jesse Jackson and it's not going to work for you.
- Narrator: Actually, it worked for both of us.
- Tonya (to Rochelle) I'm getting fired for being honest?
- Narrator: It happened to Don Imus. It could happen to you.
- Narrator (about Chris' chaotic homeroom): We need a Morgan Freeman with a bat.