Everybody Hates New Year's Eve is the tenth episode of the fourth season of Everybody Hates Chris.
Chris has made one New Year's resolution -- to go to Times Square and see the ball drop at midnight on New Year's Eve. Rochelle, who is preoccupied with complying with New Year's traditions for good luck, tells him he can go only if he is accompanied by a responsible adult.
Chris is unable to find anyone who is willing and able to take him until Tasha invites him to come with her mother (Peaches) and Malvo. Rochelle tells Chris that he can't go with Peaches and Malvo, both of whom are ex-convicts.
However, Rochelle relents after Peaches gives her a long speech about how she has been rehabilitated. Meanwhile, Julius is stuck in a traffic jam when a man threatens to jump from a bridge.
Julius successfully persuades the man to come down by telling him about many other people who had problems but didn't jump off a bridge, ranging from Nelson Mandela to Jermaine Jackson.
As a result, Julius is interviewed for the news on all the local television stations, but then he has to hurry to make it home before midnight. Also, Drew and Tonya make a bet on whether they can stay up until midnight.
- Chris (to Rochelle about New Year's Eve): I want to do something different.
- Rochelle: Like what? Get drunk, rip your shirt off in the freezing cold and have the cops arrest you and spend the first day of the new year in jail? Who wants to do that?
- Narrator: Lindsay Lohan.
- Greg (to Chris on the phone) I can't believe your dad saved a guy. That's so cool. You know, if that guy had been a girl, he'd be so in there.
- Narrator: Another one of Greg's pickup techniques. If you stop a girl from killing herself, she might go out with you.
- Rochelle: Chris, did you find somebody to take you to Times Square?
- Chris: Not yet. You think Dad could take me?
- Rochelle: Oh, well, go climb up a bridge and maybe he'll come get you.
- Chris (to Rochelle): Ma! Can I go to Times Square with Tasha, Peaches and Malvo?
- Rochelle: Hell, no!
- Rochelle (to Peaches): Now, I'll trust you with some clothes, but trusting you with my children, that's another thing.
- Narrator: Not to Britney Spears.
- Rochelle (about Chris): He was supposed to have that money in his pocket. And now we're gonna have bad luck for the rest of the year. Great. Happy New Year!