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Everybody Hates Minimum Wage

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Everybody Hates Minimum Wage is the eighth episode of season 3.

Plot

Chris goes to find another job, at a Chinese restaurant after Doc refuses to give him a raise. Drew is failing a class so Julius have to go in to meet the teacher.

Quotes

Rochelle: Girl, I am so excited! So, what styles do you have in mind.
Vanessa: Well, let me tell you about my follicular extravaganza.

Female Chef: (speaking Chinese) You look like Lionel Richie.
Chris: (narrating) About as much as you look like Yoko Ono.

Mr. Fong: Lionel Richie, go wash the dishes!
Chris: [narrating] He wouldn't talk to the real Lionel Richie like that.

Doc: Minimum wage. Shoot. There was a time when the maximum wage for black folks was zero.

Mr. Fong: No homework! You have work-work!
Chris: But Doc always let me start my homework.
Mr. Fong: Well, you are not at Doc's anymore! Go fix the menu numbers!
Chris: (narrating) I was gettin' minimum wage and havin' minimum fun.

Rochelle: Chris, where you've been? You were suppose to be back an hour ago.
Chris: I was out selling crack.
(Rochelle, Julius and Drew stare at him)
Chris (voiceover): Not all my earlier attempts at comedy were a success.

Rochelle (after her hair is ruined): Julius is never gonna sleep with me again and everybody's gonna think I'm...
Chris: (narrating) My mom's career as a hair model was over faster than Pacman Jones' career as a citizen.

Julius (to Chris): You just can't quit every time you don't like something. What if Miles Davis quit the trumpet?
Chris: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. What if George Washington Carver quit the peanut? What if B.B. King quit Lucille? What if Paul Robeson quit "Ol' Man River?" What if Bill Cosby quit Jell-O? What if Mr. T quit "pityin' the fool?" What if Stevie quit Wonderin'? What if Fat Albert quit the Cosby Kids? What if Ashford quit Simpson? What if Michael Jackson quit doin' the moonwalk? What if Diana Ross quit the Supremes?
Julius: Diana Ross did quit the Supremes.
Chris: You get my point.

Greg (about Mandy): This girl could be my future ex-wife and I don't wanna mess it up.

Narrator: If Drew didn't get it together quick, he was going to be lost at sea.

Greg (to Chris after he embarrasses him in front of Mandy): You're embarrassing me and when it comes to embarrassing myself in front of girls, I don't need any help.

Mr. Fong (to Chris): Lionel Richie, you're back just in time for another delivery.
Chris: I'm not going back out there. This neighborhood is too dangerous for deliveries. You're basically sending me out there with a sign saying "Hey, I got money. Please rob me."

Julius (to Chris): How's the new job working out?
Chris: I quit.
Julius: You quit? Quitting is for smoking and drinking. You better have a good reason for quitting your job.
Chris: Mr. Fong kept yelling at me, I almost got shot at, I got robbed, I'm getting sick of rice and to top that all off, I'm getting paid way much less than I was before.

Julius (to Ms. Crabtree): If you're going to be an educator, buy some uglier clothes.

Narrator (about James): I'd like to kick him in the fortune cookies.

Trivia

  • When Mr. Fong said "All talk and no work makes Chris unemployed", It is a reference to the phrase, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy," which was made popular in The Shining.

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