Everybody Hates Hall Monitors is the twelfth episode of the second season of Everybody Hates Chris.
Chris signs up to be a hall monitor in order to gain some respect. But when the students don't take him seriously, Greg gives Chris some advice to step up his game, but his new-found power goes to his head which nearly threatens his friendship with Greg. When Tonya invites her girlfriends over, they're more interested in hanging out with Drew than with her. Julius struggles to get some sleep, but Rochelle keeps complaining to him about her job.
- Greg (to Chris): Man, a hall monitor. How'd you get in?
- Narrator: Jesse Jackson threatened a boycott.
- Rochelle (to Julius as he is trying to sleep): You will not believe what this woman did at my job today.
- Narrator: Did she wake anybody up?
- Tonya (to her friends): A lot of people don't know this, but Billy Ocean invented the moonwalk.
- Narrator: And it almost killed it.
- Tonya: And his real name is Leslie Charles. Did you know in Africa and Europe, they changed the lyrics to "African" and "European Queen"?
- Narrator: And in Puerto Rico, they changed it to "Drama Queen."
- Narrator: That day, my sister learned something I already knew. When it came to Drew, you could kiss your girlfriends good-bye.
- Chris (to Greg): I don't sound like a girl. You hear like a girl.
- Narrator: And throw like a girl, run like a girl and scream like a girl.
- Chris (as the Terminator hall monitor): No citation. I'll be black.
- Greg (to Chris): I used to respect you. Even though you got picked on, made fun of and left out, at least you knew who you were.
- Narrator: Yeah, I was the kid who got picked on, made fun of and left out.
- Ms. Morello: to the rest of the students well, they hate you.
- Chris: They've always hated me.
- Ms. Morello: True, but they used to hate you because you were black. Now they hate you because you're acting like a jerk.
- Narrator: And because I'm black.